The super-rich Liberal Democrat parliamentary candidate for Streatham seems to be having trouble working out where Streatham is. Perhaps current Labour MP Keith Hill would be kind enough to send him a map?
Liberal Democrat Chris Nicholson was previously leader of the council in leafy Surbiton. He also works as a highly-paid consultant to companies selling weapons of war and destruction. He doesn’t seem to have had much to do with Streatham before deciding it would be a good place to foist himself to further his personal ambitions to become an MP.
In order to make up some local credentials, Nicholson – who lives in an enormous house in Chessington – decided to buy a second home in Streatham. That way he hoped to fool his future electorate into believing that he’s a local man. Unconcerned by the cost, he went along to the estate agents and found a pleasant terraced house for sale in Eardley Road. Unfortunately for Nicholson, he hadn’t done his homework properly. Since he doesn’t know Streatham very well, he didn’t realise the house he was buying was in Tooting – the wrong side of the border from Streatham!
It’s lucky he’s so wealthy, because Nicholson’s house-buying bungle meant he now had to buy ANOTHER house inside the constituency he so desperately wants to represent. And that’s what he did. Although first he bought himself an office in Brixton Hill. A further visit to the estate agents (who must have been very pleased with all the business the Liberal Democrat candidate’s giving them!) turned up a place in Clapham that seemed to fit the bill. This time Nicholson – showing he’s one to learn – asked around and found out that the property was, in fact, in the right constituency.
And so at last, the proud owner of four properties and three homes, Chris Nicholson can write out to all the lucky residents of Streatham and claim that he lives here just like they do. We doubt he’ll be mentioning that his family still lives in Chessington, though. Or that he didn’t quite know where Streatham was the first time he tried to pull that particular stunt.